Doula Moments, Memories and the Mundane

I wasn’t at a birth last night. So why didn’t I sleep? Why did I get three hours of sleep? I was thinking and praying for one, two, three, four of the next mommies that I will be with when they give birth. They are amazing women. Each one with a story that makes me feel like a child sitting hand on chin waiting for the next story, the next chapter, the next word that she will speak. I want nothing more than for her to know she is strong. Okay I also want her to know she is healthy, her baby is healthy, her body that grew her baby’s ears, eyes, hair, toe nails, that body knows how to birth her baby. Given the respect, the time, the nurturing it needs, it can do anything!

The Doula calling is a blessing…if you don’t care about time, if you believe in magic and miracles; if you see the humor and the beauty in the mundane everyday things; and if you can be bored and not frustrated.

I’ve always acknowledged childbirth, birth in any form, as a miracle. Today, as I attend mostly births in hospitals, I am grateful for the miracle of a busy hospital, or a respectful nurse, so that mom is left to labor in peace and she is given the time this baby needs, the miracle when the nurses believe with us for a VBAC and the miracle of a good on-call doctor.

The magic is not that babies come out our vagina’s. The magic is the transformation of a woman into a mommy, a man into a daddy, the world shifting as a perfect and smart new baby enters the room, enters our hearts; when Mom knows her hormonal cocktail is stewing, her baby is molding, her spirit is calm and her loved ones BELIEVE she can do this ~ perfectly ~ her way ~ making herstory.

If you care more about the way that a baby comes into the world, without regard for the time, care more for this new baby’s birth day and this new mommy’s labor than your own birthday dinner or that Christmas Eve brunch then you are a doula already. The premise of the Doula profession is that “The day a woman gives birth is a day she will never forget.” Therefore we want to make it a positive, sweet memory. You know that this baby’s birth is also a memory for him, a memory he’ll carry in his psyche, on a cellular level, for life, subconsciously effecting his behaviors, decisions. You know that being born in peace and joy and safe calmness can effect not only the babies life but heal the mother or the father, even the stranger that is present, and your time is worth it ~ you are a doula.

I will be present, in my feet, on this ground, on the planet, in my spirit today. And I will be present in the middle of the night, when the quietness wraps me like a blanket and I have time to send you loving thoughts and time to talk to my God. And I will be present when you call me in the middle of the night in labor…or just with a question.
I’m reminded of nights with nurslings, how I loved the one on one time in the semi dark, nursing. That ‘present’ still nurtures me today.
I hope to be present with you soon. I hope to spend face-to-face, one-on-one time with you soon.

Let’s talk about what nurtures you.

Love you madly, Rosie

One comment

  1. I love this post and I love the way you write. Your clients are so very lucky to have your peaceful presence nurturing and witnessing their birth Rosie. I miss you! hugs, Coleen

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